Yeah, something like this can only be shared down below!

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I am not a poet.

Yet for some reason, I still try to write poetry from time to time. Same with song lyrics, even though I’m in no way a musician. I figure, as long as it all stays on my computer, it’s not hurting anyone, so what’s the harm… right?

But then something like this happens:

A reprint edition of a book needed a few more pages to hit a stupid mandatory minimum page count.

NOT the publisher’s request or demand, they certainly don’t care, but one of the major venues for eBook advertising has a minimum page count requirement to consider something a “real book” — and even with some creative design tweaks we were still four pages short of hitting that number.

What are you gonna do, right?

We have to be able to advertise the book via this outlet, so I added a “Secret Bonus Poetry Section” at the back of the book, which includes the “lost gem” you can read below, which was jotted down in 2009 and has never seen the light of the day because it’s absolutely nuts and makes not one lick of sense.

This sort of thing should NOT be unleashed on the general public. It’s just not fair to readers who took the time to learn to read!

And yet, here I am, about to subject all of you to it. Might I suggest you just close the browser window now and forget all about this post?

You really aren’t missing anything!

Still here…?

Are you sure…?

Okay…

I mean, you’re only hurting yourself here…

If you’re sure…

In that case…

Without further ado, I present…

________________________________________

“PETA Can Save Your Marriage”

They say
the average house pet
will live longer
than the
average
American marriage;
so clearly the
key to a
long and successful partnership
is to let
PETA
euthanize
your cats and dogs
today
before time runs out!
________________________________________

If the look on your face matches the look on the dog’s face at the top of this post, congratulations… we’re all making the same face right now. 🙂

Thank you, as always, for all of your support!

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